Archive for the 'Terrible Poetry' category

Get your Holiday Scicurious Swag!

Dec 19 2010 Published by under Terrible Poetry

I promise it's the only plug.


See that little link on the sidebar for my cafepress store? I've got cool stuff there. Everything from Scicurious messenger bags to mugs to beer steins to THONGS. And of course there are lots of tshirts! It's all Sci stuff, and it all could be YOURS! Think of how awesome you and your friends could look. How...Scicurious!

No responses yet

To the Dude who sat down in front of me in seminar Friday...

Dec 12 2010 Published by under Terrible Poetry

To the Dude who sat down in front of me in seminar Friday having previously bathed in Axe,

I hate you.

Believe me, if the choice for you is between a shower and bathing in Axe, take the shower, I assure you that everyone around you would prefer it.

You reek to high heaven. And when you sat down in front of me in seminar on Friday, my nose wrinkled immediately, and my brain went "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!!" I knew I had to flee, but by then it was too late.

You see, I get migraines. And they are sometimes triggered by things like intense smell. Like you, young man who bathed in Axe body spray. You can now consider yourself directly responsible for the migraine that I have been down with for the past TWO DAYS, going on THREE. By the time I managed to gather my things and leave the auditorium, it felt like someone was trying to lobotomize me without anesthetic, and I could barely see. I have now been officially useless for the past three days, at a time which was hardly convenient for me. Not that migraines are ever convenient.

The next time I see you, I have a strong urge to clock you so hard on the head you will have a massive headache for three days. So you know what it's like.

But I'll have to put on a HEPA filter first.

No love,

18 responses so far

A Scientopian Welcome!!!

Aug 02 2010 Published by under Synaptic Misfires, Terrible Poetry, Uncategorized

Hello and welcome to Scientopia, a brand spanking new blog community of people who are stuck living life in the scientific mind.

Sci is SO excited to be here, you guys!!!

In fact, she's so excited she's going to express herself in verse. Her poetry may very well be the worst poetry in the universe until the Earth gets destroyed to make way for a hyperspace bypass, so you've been warned.

(Scicurious, better selling than "53 more things to do in zero gravity"!!)

Hello there and welcome to this blog cornucopia,
a collection of bloggers we call Scientopia!
We are here to blog science, of all type and kind,
And give you glimpses of the scientific mind.
Please do check the frontpage, we've blogs of all stripes!
Let me give you a tour of some different types.

To start with and onto a sciencey path,
Check the hardcore musings of Good Math, Bad Math,
If it's physics you're after in this blogplace of ours,
You simply must observe the blog SkullsintheStars.
And if it's to the stars that you have some attractions
make sure you read Knop's Galactic Interactions.

And while you are here, see the scientific life
Drugmonkey blog with academic advice is quite rife
For feminist stylings make sure not to miss
Our hairy-legged Zuska and fashionable Isis.
Forget not psychology, ours is here to stay
With Jason and Melody's new blog "Child's Play".

In case you need info, make sure you look
At our librarian sites which are much more than books
There's Book of Trogool and Christina's LIS Rant
With information science enough to enchant.
If you want lots of topics, with no one priority,
You should make sure to read Questionable Authority.

And of course, we're in science, a field sometimes full of strife
You can read all about it on This Scientific Life
There's more life in science, as I bet you can tell,
With Chemical BiLOLogy and Candid Engineer as well.
And if you're on the tenure track remaining
Read Proflike Substance and Professor in Training!

If you're into Biology, that we can cover
As with Everyday Biology you will discover
Biology Refugia will also be found
Where posts on environmental biology abound.
For biological life and the academic infection
All of our blogs are Sanitized for your Protection,

Of course we've got medical blogs of all kinds
As our White Coat Underground will always remind
We've also got WhizBang, another medicine station
Who's interested in science and administration.
Finally if it is aging and and Alzheimer's you chase
You should take a look at Attack Polymerase.

Of course the neurosciences we have quite a bit,
Such as neurodynamics, pharmacology with great wit.
And of course there's Yours Truly, Scicurious that is
Your friendly neuroscience and weird science whiz!
And if it's anthropological things you are after,
You simply must read the Urban Ethnographer.

We also proud to have ecology on our plate
With the fabulous bloggers of The Voltage Gate
And we all want to make sure our ethics are in compliance,
Which is why we have Adventures in Ethics and Science!
There's more blogs to come, make sure you keep looking
To check out all we Scientopians have got cooking!

So come one and come all, you're welcome to stay
And party with us on our very first day!

Beers are in the ice in the bathtub, y'all. Let's get this science party started!!!

7 responses so far

"Oh Tiktaalik, Transitional Form"

Oct 05 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

*sings, to the tune of "Oh god our help in ages past"
Oh Tiktaalik, transitional form
Our fav'rite pseudofish
Thy stubby legs and half formed lungs
Would make a tasty dish!
Great Tiktaalik, make us believe
ev'lution does take place
where once you flapped upon the shores
is a new amphibian race
Dear Tiktaalik, we learn in school
though millions of years hid
found is our great transitional form
"fish" walked as once you did!
Oh Tiktaallik, transitional form
through your long-fossil'd bones
ev'lution's heard all round the world
Speech rising from the stones!

2 responses so far

The Road I Traveled By: October Scientiae

Sep 29 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

-Robert Frost
Two roads diverged, and there I stood
Trying fruitlessly to see ahead
Tried to divine, as if I could
Both roads and where they might have led.
Immersed school, nearing journey's end
Fearing to leave those hallowed halls
To scholarship my steps would bend
But to what ivy-covered walls?
To warm red brick, chalk dust, books piled high
Wittgenstein, Sartre, contemplation, debate
The inner world of the mind, letting life go by
To wrestle with new philosophical states?
Or to the other, stark, seeming cold
Walls folded round a hive of activity
To study the mind with test tubes and pipettes
How foreign it seemed then to me!
I took the cold road, as I thought I must
In search of cures for tortured minds
Philosophy left behind, books to dust
I walk logical paths of different kinds.
The science road, revealed to me
Was never cold nor stark
It glows with passion and energy
Making other paths seems dark.
Though now I remember my two roads
and philosophy with a sigh
I do not regret my test tube choice
And love the road I travel by.

4 responses so far

Poem of the Day: #9

Aug 18 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

There was a grad student of yore
who had neither office nor door
at his desk in the lab, students gathered to gab
until he could stand it no more.
All this chatting he could not abide
for his writing he wished he could hide
so when no one would leave
he rolled up his sleeves
and soaked them in formaldehyde.

2 responses so far

Poem of the Day: #8

Aug 13 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

After Lunch
I. After lunch, it creeps
Death of my motivation
the dread Food Coma
II. The coma slips in
Data wavers on the screen
Just to close my eyes...
III. No, foul sleepiness!
I shall not submit! Hook up
My caffeine i.v.!

One response so far

Poem of the Day: #7

Aug 11 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

I. the lab's dismal air
mourning your unborn paper
alas, you've been scooped
II. lab mates crowd around
printed copies fly like birds
try to find a flaw
III. your data can't die
publish you must, or perish
find a new angle

One response so far

Poem of the Day: #6

Aug 08 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

The following poem is dedicated to my labmate, post-doc, and colleague. You know who you are.
How cruel my labmate yesterday
Upon my computer screen
played dance music, bad 80's style
"YOU BEEN RICKROLL'D!" he screamed.
At first I laughed, 'twas no big thing
And the dancing was funny and wry
but now I find, dangit, Rick's on my mind
My labmate was too sly.
So if to you rickroll appears,
Beware, it's untimely curse
All crazy now, it haunts my dreams
My own horror universe.

You been Rickroll'd!
Sings..."never gonna give you up, never gonna let you doooown..."

5 responses so far

Poem of the Day: #5

Aug 06 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

To dopamine

I. O fair dopamine
wondrous molecule, so cool
even gets you high.
II. Reward, punishment
in dopamine highs and lows
a complete package
III. Tasty dopamine
the umami of my brain
why can't you hate carbs?
IV. Feel the pleasure and
the pain, wrong motivation
dopamine, habit
V. "Neurotransmission"
sad how these long science words
will ruin haikus

One response so far

Older posts »