Archive for the 'Terrible Poetry' category

Poem of the Day: #4

Aug 05 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

With apologies to Lewis Carroll, who is spinning in his grave.
'Twas grad school, and the slithy gels
did gyre and gimble on the bench
All mimsy was the PCR
In front of this lab wench.
"Beware the Dissertation!" they cried
"The data that sucks, the committees that catch
Beware the late night hours
and woe, your weekends it will snatch!"
I took vorpal pipette in hand
long time the maximum hypothesis sought
'til rested I in papers with a sigh
and sat a while in thought.
And as in uffish thought I stood
The Dissertation, with aims unnamed
came wiffling through my fevered brain
and burbled as it came.
one-A, one-B, two-A, two-C!
And through and through
My specific aims soon to be complete
I left it dead, and took its head
to my committee to compete.
And hast thou slain the thesis aims!?
Back to the bench, young candidate!
Your standard error is glory, but a complete story
Is needed to graduate...
'Twas grad school, and the thesis aims
did gyre and gimble, the model bent,
all mimsy mocked my data points
to this poor, sad student.

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Poem of the Day: #3

Aug 04 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

From Childhood.
Eenie meenie miiney moe
Catch your advisor by their toe
If they agree to submit your manuscript, let them go
eenie meenie miiney moe

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Poem of the Day: #2

Aug 02 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

This poem saw its first incarnation on Twitter, the best place in which to write the short and sweet. But it's now gone through several phases as it lingers in the twilight of my brain:
Poem of the Day #2:
Hemoglobin is red,
Western blot bands are grey,
my data is SWEET,
perhaps I'll graduate someday.

Or Alternatively
My DNA polymerase is red,
My western blot bands are blue,
hire me as your post-doc,
my work will totally woo you.

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Poem of the Day: #1

Aug 01 2009 Published by under Terrible Poetry

Sci wrote haikus for a while. She found them relaxing. And this gave her a small, evil little idea: daily poems. Poems of SCIENCE. And grad school. Perhaps mostly grad school because it's more of a tragicomedy.
Why write poetry? After all, it will never be the kind that shows you the dark recesses of Sci's soul. She got that out of her in high school. And she should inform you that the darkest recesses of her soul never get much darker than a nice wine red. So why?
Why not? And does anyone else notice that "poem" starts to look really badly misspelled when you look at it for too long?

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